I have a friend who is dying.... Yes, it is a terrible thing to say, but it is true. Then again, I have lots of friends who are dying. Is it not true that you start dying the day you are born? Is it not true that life itself is a fatal disease? Yes it is, but that does not help my friend at all. My friend is destined - according to medical facts - to die prematurely. let me tell you about her.
She lives far across the world from me and I met her one day on Skype. Since then I have come to get to know her very well. She is a nineteen year old cheerful teenager with dreams like any other teenager - except for the fact that she has a critical condition. I am not going to bore you with the scientific name, but she has a kidney disease that give her about another five years maximum to live. That is if you believe the medical practitioners.
Since learning about her condition I have come to understand her very well and that is something which really saddens me. She is not sitting back to die, but have decided to live and take life on the chin. This is such a contradiction to other people I know that is waiting to die although there is nothing wrong with them. This is a very intelligent nineteen year old girl with so much insight into the world ad someone who can make such a huge contribution in future to our world society. If I compare her with other nineteen year old's, she understands life and people where other youngsters are now only staring to think about what life may hold for them. She knows what she wants and if she manages to survive she will get it too.
Ultimately she can be saved if she gets a kidney transplant. No, this is not a call for someone to donate a kidney, but rather to tell you about a remarkable decision. A kidney transplant may prolong her life, if the body does not reject it, but she has taken the decision not to go that route. She has made the decision to life life out with what she has got. She will live or die with the body she has. She will not be irresponsible and has adjusted her diet, etc to try and save her own life. I have huge respect for her to make such a decision at such a young age. It is not for me to agree with the decision or not, but I respect it. I do believe that she is intelligent enough to make that decision on her own.
What even astounds me some more is that she is living life with a smile even though she has a lot to be bitter about. Yes, she has her moments when life is tough and she has setbacks when doctors give her more bad news, but she bounces back and smiles again. Something I really admire. She is trying her best to live and the electronic media has given her the capabilities to talk to people all over the world - like me. I have been one of the lucky ones to be pulled into her close circle of friend and is thankful for that opportunity. At least I can also give her a little of my life experience and debate multiple issues. She has a strong will and so do I so the clashes can be severe, but never personal. We will remain friends until one of us dies - whoever will be the first, but I think it may be me.
Her prognoses may not be good, but her attitude is right. She is positive and wants to live and I do believe that it is a major part of recovering from any disease. Be positive and believe that it can happen. That miracle may be just around the corner.
Meeting up with her has made me think about my own life a lot and how much I have to be thankful for. I also had different dreams when I was her age. There are so many things I wanted to do and if I followed the path I paved for myself I would have been somewhere totally different and in a total different place, yet I am not sorry for what I have, i have played the hand dealt to me in the end and is happy to see my wife and kids and hope they are also happy. I am also trying to change my life so that I can spend a lot more time with my family. It is so much more important than any other thing is your life to be part and parcel of their lives in their growing up process. You only have one chance to get it right. Not two, just one.
Why did I write this? I suppose it is to beg all of you to live life to its fullest like my friend and also keep her in your thoughts.
3 comments:
This is a sad business indeed. I've a friend too, well actually more of a virtual acquaintance, who's in the same conditions.
I daresay she well fits the same portrait you draw, and to be sure, there aren't many 19yo girls like that(she still says she's 18 but that's only one of her many fancies).
I sometimes feel like there's something uncannily elusive in all this brilliant-young-girl-dying business. Each time I'm remembered of it, I think "well that! That would explain a lot about life!" and the moment later this very essential intuition seems to be gone without me properly grasping it.
I also feel like a better drawing of her character would be necessary at this point, but I probably better refrain myself, for I would end up listing some of her capriciously troublesome traits along with her many good ones.
Anyway I wouldn't say her present state of mind is one of rejoicing smiles. Her mental condition has never been quite steady and now, with this last bit of bad news she has fallen in a sort of chronic hysteria which is temporary punctuated by depressive and compulsive mind whirls. That's probably perfectly normal, although I often think that her strong character is somehow heavily coercing her and making things harder than they should be, thus resulting in a greater internal struggle and discomfort. At some point, going with the flow might result in an easier life.
As for "Her prognoses may not be good, but her attitude is right" I'm not completely sure of that... only time will tell.
To her good character let's remember she's still hoping and keeping it all together with all her might, so I'd say let us cross fingers and hope too!
regards, daniele.
Hi Daniele,
Thanks for the conment. I take note. Yes, you are right and I think I can also say that that he world is round. Before you think I have been smoking something, it is basically the answer on your comments. The way I wrote it is not to critisize, because yes, I can do it, but it is more important to note the fact that a positive stance is made by someone who should theoretically not be emotionally stable enough to do so. Something that, coupled with a positive attitude, is part of a degree of success at the moment. Ups and downs will be encountered and I can write about those as well. I can also go on and debate the merits of the decisions taken, but will not, as it is not up to me to make a judgement call on an individuals call about her own future and life.
Regards
Hansie
Well said Hansie, well said.
(well actually I had to read it twice in order to grasp entirely what you were saying :) might be the late hour)
cheers!!
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